You’d never say it out loud to another mum, but it’s there: a flash of resentment toward the baby who needs you constantly, or the toddler who won’t stop asking. Then guilt floods in right behind it. What if the resentful feeling itself isn’t the problem — what if it’s the guilt about having it that’s making this harder?
I hope that, by reading this article, you understand that you definitely are not alone. In this post, you will begin to understand the following:
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This post pairs with Episode 8 of the Breathe, Laugh, Parent – The Shine Om Podcast, “Permission to Feel: How to Support Big Emotions in Parenting.”
Prefer audio? Listen to the full episode on Spotify, or read the original companion post.
The Rule We Apply to Kids, Rarely to Ourselves
We tell our children all feelings are allowed, even the uncomfortable ones — anger, jealousy, resentment. Then we hold ourselves to a much harsher standard, treating our own resentment or touch-aversion as proof of failure. The same permission that helps a toddler move through big feelings helps you too: the feeling isn’t the failure. What matters is what you do with it.
Naming Resentment Reduces Its Grip
Resentment that stays unspoken tends to leak out sideways — in snapping, in silence, in resentment toward a partner. Naming it, even privately, often loosens its hold: “I’m feeling resentful right now” is simply true, and saying it doesn’t make it worse.
Our free You Matter Too journaling resource is a private, judgment-free place to put these feelings down.
This Doesn’t Mean You Love Them Less
Feeling resentful in a hard moment and loving your children deeply are not contradictions — they coexist in almost every parent, almost every day. Related read: Why Do I Feel So Touched Out as a Mum of Two?
If you’d like more support processing this season honestly, The Joyful Parenting Project holds space for exactly this.
