A nervous-system-led guide for parents navigating bedtime with two young children
If you’re trying to settle a baby while your toddler climbs on you, asks endless questions, melts down the moment you leave the room, or suddenly needs you more than ever, you are not alone.
This is one of the most common questions I receive from parents of two young children, especially those in the season of two under two (or close to it). And it’s exactly why I recorded Episode 18 of Breathe, Laugh, Parent — The Shine Om Podcast.
This episode isn’t about perfect routines or rigid systems.
It’s about understanding what’s really happening in your home — emotionally, developmentally, and neurologically — and learning how to support two little nervous systems while caring for your own.
Table of Contents
Why This Stage Feels So Hard (and Why You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong)
Putting a baby to sleep while your toddler is still home is one of the biggest juggle points in early parenthood.
Your baby regulates through your body.
Your toddler regulates through your presence.
And your nervous system is often already stretched thin.
Add in sleep deprivation, overstimulation, witching hour (what I lovingly call connection hour), and the mental load of the day, and suddenly a “quick” settling turns into an emotional marathon.
This doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re navigating competing developmental needs.
Both children are doing exactly what they’re meant to do.
And you are doing your best in a genuinely demanding season.
Structure Without Rigidity: Creating a Predictable Rhythm
One of the biggest nervous-system supports for toddlers is predictability — not strict schedules, but knowing what happens next.
In the episode, I share how a loose, repeatable rhythm can help your toddler feel safe when your attention shifts to the baby.
This might look like:
- A short connection window with your toddler before the baby settles
- A clear explanation of where you’re going and when you’ll return
- A consistent “anchor” activity they can rely on
The goal isn’t independence.
It’s reassurance.
What “Quiet Time” Really Looks Like for Bouncy Toddlers
Let’s be honest: most toddlers and young children are not quietly playing with a curated basket of toys.
Especially not high-energy, sensory-seeking, spirited toddlers.
In this episode, I talk openly about letting go of unrealistic expectations and redefining quiet time as:
- Simple
- Predictable
- Low-effort
- Actually enjoyable for your child
This may include:
- Duplo, cars, or a familiar activity
- Mindful colouring (built through modelling, not expectation)
- Structured, low-stimulation screen time
Screen Time as a Tool — Not a Failure
One of the most relieving parts of this conversation is reframing screen time.
Used intentionally, vetted carefully, and limited to low-stimulation content, screen time can be a regulation tool, not a parenting failure.
In our home, that looks like:
- Predictable, age-appropriate shows
- No remote control access
- Calm, familiar content that doesn’t escalate energy
This isn’t about outsourcing parenting.
It’s about supporting safety while you meet your baby’s needs.
Why Consistency and Modelling Matter More Than the Activity
A key message in this episode is this:
It’s not the activity that matters — it’s the repetition.
Many of the strategies that work now didn’t work 12 months ago. They only became effective through:
- Consistency
- Modelling calm behaviour
- Slowing the environment
- Letting skills develop over time
This season is not about instant results.
It’s about building capacity gently.
One of the tools that now works for my eldest is The Shine Om Mindful Colouring Book. I have shared this below for you to review. It took consistent modelling and guidance, even when we weren’t in those stressful put-down times, for her to now sit and colour and explore yoga poses independently.
30 page Inspirational Mindful Colouring Book for Kids and Families
Elevate family bonding with Shine Om’s Mindful Colouring Book! Explore a world of creativity, relaxation, and emotional well-being. Each page includes inspiring and empowering affirmations. Sustainable and diverse themes for an enriching experience. Start your mindful journey today!
Supporting Yourself When You’re Running on Empty
This episode also speaks directly to exhausted parents.
Realistic strategies include:
- Lowering the bar (toast is dinner, Bluey is quiet time)
- One breath before transitions
- Tag-teaming where possible
- Changing internal language from “I’m failing” to “I’m tired”
Presence — not perfection — is what your children need.
A Reframe That Changes Everything
Your toddler isn’t trying to make bedtime harder.
They’re asking:
- Am I safe?
- Do I still belong?
- Will you come back?
Your baby isn’t being difficult either — they’re communicating through their body.
With time, rhythm, modelling, and predictable anchors, bedtime does get easier. I promise — because I’ve lived it.
Listen to Episode 18
Listen now and return to this episode whenever bedtime feels heavy.
Recommended Episodes to Listen Alongside This One
These episodes support nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and connection — especially during big transitions:
- Episode 15 – Not the Same Woman I Was: An End-of-Year Reflection on Motherhood, Healing & Growth
- Episode 11 – The Nervous System and Parenting: What Every Parent Needs to Know
- Episode 8 – Permission to Feel: Why Emotional Expression Is a Parenting Superpower
- Episode 2 – Micro Moments of Joy as Self-Care for Mums
You Are Learning — Not Failing
If bedtime has felt heavier since welcoming a new baby, let this be your reminder:
You are not doing it wrong.
You are learning.
And this season will not always feel like this.
Learn more about the podcast here: https://shineom.com.au/podcast
Read more articles here.
If this episode resonated, feel free to share it with another parent who might need to hear it:
You’re doing beautifully — and your presence is enough.
